LaDy DutCH

2005-08-19T21:40:00.000+08:00

Someone once ask me what do i want in life. I used to have the answer but now looking back at it are there the correct choices or is it worth it? Now when someone ask me the same question my answer would be i do not know.

They are question in my mind about what do i want, where do i want to go from here, how am i going to do it, when am i going to do it and who am i going to become?

I had a talk with someone special. He said to me what is going to be of me? I cried when i told him i do not know. I have been thinking about it. During my quiet moments, I have decided to be close to my family, religion,hafiz, my studies and still have time for my hobbies. I used to draw and paint. Now i never seem to have the time to do that.

I still remembered the hours i spent just to draw and paint. It was really relaxing and frustrating. You can become cynical and a perfectionist when it comes to art.

I flunk my final theory test today. I guess it was just not my day. As i walked along the side way of the bt gombak road, i was hoping i could dump into Joey. Well my wish did not come true. I wonder how she is. If i were to call her would she pick up? Or would she be as cold as ice. Well i would not know would i.

Dear i am sorry. I AM SORRY. I AM SORRY. I AM SORRY. I AM SORRY. I AM SORRY.

Bridge Ache

2005-08-17T22:36:00.000+08:00

As you can see from the title YES my bridge break. It was heart breaking. At least my effort did not go to waste. I learnt alot from this. I finally understood the meaning of buckling already. The class was in chaos today. It was really fun. I had alot of fun. Like maya said just now, Why are you giggling so much today? The reason is that i am happy. All the cynical jokes we made at each other was the most fun and the gossip was hot. Like Sri was talking about Ma, then she did not realise he was standing beside her was funny. The girls and i plan to go K-box after our papers and Han has a 50% Swensen discount and we planned to celebrate. During soil, the lt said to me better put in more effort. He already said that nobody in the class is going to get an A for his module. Guess i really have to pull up my sock.

Been talking to Rashid recently, we kinda lost contact for 4mths i think. It is good to hear from him. I was suppose to meet him on Sunday but he stood me up. Well he was renovating his room. So he was at ikea at that time and the thing was that we did not specific the time nor the place. Just that after i am done with my project to call him up and me will come. Oh well, another day perhaps. We are planning to meet but im not sure when. I have known him since i was 15. Let see i'm going to be 19 so its like 4years. He just called and we talked for a while. Was suppose to do my work, kacau aje. lol. Going to talk to him again later. It is really funny talking to him. We joke around, and then we talk about serious stuff and all. I would not say he is my best friend but he is rather a close friend. It seem so easy to talk to him and express my thoughts and crapness. Haha seem like i'm going to have dark rings under my eyes again.

I'm going to post the pictures soon. Catch it out soon.

Group Picture

2005-08-14T13:42:00.000+08:00

THE CEE GANG.............

Year 2 CEE

SO MUCH HAPPENED

2005-08-14T11:57:00.000+08:00

Well the past few days was really a rollercoaster. Well you can say a mini rollercoaster. A little bit of drama and of course some of it was a life lesson. I just got back from Malaysia as you all know. The wedding was nice. It would have been perfect if Nenek Su and the family could have join us. However given that my Mental uncle has cast out them as family it was actually sad. I was really angry with his side of the family. They did not even acknowledge us in the bus. It was only at the end of the day that they did. They can do this to me but when it come to my granny. THEY DO NOT HAVE TO INSULT HER. The only reason we went along was for Mak Long's and Izam's sake. If it was not for mak long we will never go.

The moment we reached Perak, we waited for Kak Li to pick us up. Instead we were going to stay with Tok Dollah. The house was much more lively compared to the rental aparment of the Mental's family. Kak Li brought her two children and then there was Tok Ngah and Nenek Ngah also. I love them so much. I can laugh non-stop when i am with them. What more when we meet, they always take really good care of me. Knowing that i do not eat hot stuff, they will prepare a non-hot dish for me. Kak Li like to bring me out. And they are very very open.

While waiting for the clock to strike 12, Auntie Sidah, Kak Li and i had a chat. You know thse girls chat where you can confide and talked about anything under the sun. The topic was about marriage. They were comparing their husband during the dating time and now. They said that when they were dating, their husband would wait for them even if it was an hour late but now 5mins late they would grumble and complaint. There are so many things that they talked about. It made me realised that guys are sweet-talking human. They tend to pacifiy us with sweet tender words but when we finally become theirs, all the promises that they once made is all just promises. I love to be in love but i am totally scared of marriage. I have always felt this way eversince i was young. If it was possible, i do not want a husband who is a wifebeater, who is a flirt and cheat on the wife (Mental uncle), who do not share my problems and think that they are always right. I want someone who love me for who i am. Listn to all my nonesnse, my heartbreak. Ultimately be my best friend, my love, as well as a husband. Not trying to change me, but i welcome changes if it would bring benefit to the relationship. Not like trying to dictate me like Adolf Hilter. I just want a family that is loving, fill with laughter and very close.

Maya whenever you feel like crying, like bitching what so ever, I here you know. If you feel like scolding me for no reason. For insulting me for no reason i am here. You can always use this saddle bag of yours. Hehe.

National Day was some kind of romantic. I went to his house first as Mami was not feeling well and i wanted to visit her. We could not decide where to go. I really wanted to go to esplanade but he do not like crowds. I gave in. Well it was ok, i probably can catch it next year. If God willing. We ended going East Coast. We had dinner first before heading to the beach. We walked all the way. My feet was already aching. However the end result wa worth it. We were siting down at a curb. Then suddenly there was a loud noise. Boy the view of the fireworks is magnificent. I have always love fireworks. It is really breathtaking especially watching it with someone special. Then we met his family for supper. We also went to Mustafa that night.

On Friday, i met Salleh. I was so shocked when i saw him. His front tooth was missing. It was really unsightly but in a way, he changed. He is more mellow. We known each other since we were 13 through ncc. We even went to Mt Ophir together. Nice guy. I remembered the girls used to be crazy about him. Apparently he met with an accident. A van crashed into his bike. Well Salleh get well soon. Good to see you back. Oh yea also i met Wai Kin. He has grown fat. My assitant when we were running the IDP. I cannot remember what it stand for anymore.

Yesterday, we went to Geylang to buy his mum a birthday gift. We bought two fabrics and a matching scarf for the gift. It was really nice. Mami also liked it. Syukur alhamdulilah. After that we went to Marina Square where we met Abg Man and his family. It was nice. Then while we were approaching the Barang-barang shop, we had to pass a row of bridal shops. A few of the salepersons came up to us asking him whether he has propose to me. LOL. Abg Man belanja us dinner. Thanks Abg Man for dinner and the trip home. It would have been nice if we could have spent time together. I thought that we could but we did not. I was a little disappointed. Ish i am so senimental.

I miss the gang. Really looking forward to meet them soon. An'an, Faris, Sal, Jam, Azam, Ain, Dedel, Anne, etc they all. I missed our old jokes and crappiness.

My Award Ceremony

2005-08-02T01:23:00.000+08:00

I was browsing through the np website and i came across pictures of my award ceremony.

We were having a tea break before the ceremony. I was alone at that time.

Receiving the certificate from the BE director.

The prize winners for Dec 2004.

Bridge Challenge

2005-07-31T12:44:00.000+08:00

Bridge challenge was super fun. An even held by Civil and Environmental Engineering Course. There was a total of 59 schools who took part. I was assigned to Gan Eng Seng School And Raffles Girls. The students came with all their bridges. Some beautiful, some were ugly and some were average. Howerver it is not the beauty but the strength factor that is important in the end. It was amazing. I was the ambassador for that day. We got to bond with the senoirs as well as my coursemates from the other classes. It was really fun.

After that we headed to Brash Basah. We went to buy wood from ArtFriend. We took quite awhile to get the right size. It was frustrating. After that i went to Maya's house. Hani and Sue are cool. Then i went out with Fiz and his family. They fetch me from Maya's house and we had dinner. I did not eat much only had satay cause Maya fed me before i left. Thanks girl. We then went to Kak Noreen's house. Her house is nice. The desgin is nice but the inside is small thou. I was dead beat when i was in the car that i slept. Hehe. Thanks Yang. Love you.......

More pictures:http://eremabas.myphotoalbum.com/slideshow.php?set_albumName=album31
Or http://ladydutch86.multiply.com/

HAPPY SAPPY DAY

2005-07-26T21:29:00.000+08:00

Dear diary,

Oh my, the joy i am experiencing today is way better than yesterday. Yesterday was a really crappy day. However today, i just head over heels. Thanks Yang. I had enjoy myself today. Well i met him for lunch before my IS class. Nad, Steve and Kim were there too. Today his mood was good. I simply love it when he is in a good mood. Then i can joke around with him. After lunch, he accompanied me to photocopy my financial planning notes. We talked and joke on the way there. He even sent me to block 50 before heading to his class which was at blk 51. How sweet of him.

IS class was great. Actually i chose this course cause i know that it will be very useful for my future as well as my next generations to come. Do not work for money. Make money work for you. That is why Singaporean and ordinary people do not get rich that is because they work for money. And working for money means working for government. At the end of the day, you will lose out because your salary is deducted by the government, then the taxes and what you are left with are peanuts. You slogged so hard for nothing.

Well Mr Ben Tan ended the class early. He only taught us for 2 hours and there was a test at the end of the lesson. There was some familiar faces in my class. There was Alex, Aaron, William, Carine and Maya and not forgetting the guy in French.

After class, i waited for him cause i wanted to kill time before heading to Yishun to teach. We took the 61 to bukit batok and then the train to Woodlands. We just walked around causeway point. Then we went to bits and pieces cause i wanted to polish his bracelet. The one that i bought for him. Then we went to take neoprints. A habit of ours. Always taking neoprints. We looked really funny in some of the pictures. It was hilarious. After taking pictures, we had tea by the man-made pond. We had char kuay and sushi. Delicious. Then he sent me to the MRT station. It was time to depart. It was rather short but i love to spend time like this with him. I love you, Hafizuddin Ariff. Hehe

I dragged teaching the boys. It was suppose to be 1.5hr but instead it became 2hrs as Haikal joined us. The topic was algebra. It is the worst topic to teach because you and i heve experienced them before. How confusing it can be. Izwan made a remarked that i got so angry i packed my stuff. He then apologised. Haiz teaching boys sometime can be a pain in the neck. Well i'm going to continue studying SMFE.

2005-07-25T21:15:00.000+08:00

Dear diary,

Today was not the one of those best days for me. Instead my mood was pretty rotten. Thanks to him. In the morning Maya and i had a little qurallel for the Stra question. It was more on the distribution factor. Then that was settle caused we made a little promise a few days back, that no matter how bad the situation is, we will try to remain friends. I scored 72/100 for STRA and 79/100 for EG3b. I was quite disappointed for math. I made alot of careless mistakes. I could kill myself. If i had put the K for question 1 then i would have scored 80 and those other mistakes. After math, Maya said that we will be doing the C-programming project during our break. I had told him that i will company him to photostate the French notes. He came earlier as he wanted to have lunch with him. He was pissed that he came early but i could not spend the time with him. He was so cold that his departing words was "Thanks for the notes" and then he left.His coldness really hurts me. It really spoilt my mood for the rest of the day. I kind of took it out on Izwan. Considering that Izwan was daydreaming again in class, i was kind of harsh towards him. However i made it up to him. I gave him a biscuit. It turnt out that it was his favourite biscuit. Then i went home. It is such a miserable day today. The rain really suit my mood. Well relationship is not all cookies and creams. I hope tomorrow would be a better day for us. I really hope. No more of his coldness just his warmth and his jokes. I wish that he be that guy i went home with that very first time we went home together.

My DEAREST HAFIZ

2005-07-22T16:42:00.000+08:00

I just chatted with him on msn. He said that i do not think of him all the time. Well you know that is not true at all. Also he said that when i went out with him, i wrote one or two paragragh about him whereas when he comes to my friends, i would write a whole page long. Well my dear, in your honour i'm going to write what is in my heart just for you.

HAFIZ ----> Hate him when he scolds me for nothing, Arrogant sometimes but i love it, Friend, a very good friend.. but i would want him to be my best friend, Idiot is what i always yell at him and Z hmm what word oh ya ZEST, he is full of it.

Well that is him. We just celebrated our 1yr anniversary on the 10 of July. We planned for a perfect and romantic day but it turnt out disasterous. However it was alright overall. I had made him a scrapbook for him. In it, there was pictures, movie tickets, concert tickets etc. It touched him. Well i was afraid he would dislike it. Alhamdulilah he loved it. I also got him a silver bracelet where i engraved his name and mine. He wears it when he is out. Having him wear that bracelet make me realise that he appreciates my effort. I am thankful for that.

He on the other hand, got me a set of jewellery. He got me earings, necklace and a matching bracelet. I was overwhlemed by his gift. Afterall he is the first guy i went out for a year. The others were rather short. I showed Maya the gift. It is really beautiful. Hey dear next year, i want some more. Hehe greedy lil me. hehe.

Well we exchanged gifts first before we headed to Tampines. We took the bus there. He seem to mellow after i gave him the gifts. Well i love that side of him. All mellow and nice. We just walked around. We were supposed to head to Pasir Ris beach to catch the sunset. So to kill time, we walked around and have our dinner. We had dinner at Seoul Garden. He paid for it. Anyway he could not eat much. He had a case of stomachache. He been at it for a few days. Poor baby could not eat much. It did affect my appetitie too. It just now fun eating steamboat alone right. So we ate little. We then went to the arcade. It was fun. Especially the star wars game. Obvivously i lost the game. He won 3 in row. Well he always beat me in games. Even tiv-tac-toe. Boo hoo. The best thing about losing to a guy is that they will make it up to you. Hehe. I love this part.

The thing was that we were engrossed in that game that we did not look at the time. So as you might have guess. We missed the sunset. I was actually looking forward to it. How i love the sunset. Well then we made our way to the beach. It was already dark by then. It was a romantic place. We sat by the sea. We had this mini chat where we confessed what we have been hiding from each other. We cleared some things up. Just to sum everything up and reflect on the year. It would have been a wonderful night if only we were not bitten by the ants and disturb by that phonecall. Sorry Sayang. Maybe next year would be better. Well that is our one year. Although it was not perfect, i simply enjoyed his companion and his sweet gesture. It is something that i will remember about him. Love you yang.

Sayang and me on our 1st year anniversary.

His face was eaten up by the machine. Poor thing. It's ok dear i still love you. Hehe.......

My DAY at the Hospital

2005-07-21T21:37:00.000+08:00

The first thing i woke up, my mum was poking a chemical up my ass. I had to lie down in a L shape position. It was basically to clear my bladder. Well i slept after that. We went to resgister at 10.30am. The endoscopy centre was mostly full with old people and their companion. I was the only young patient there. It was kind of akward. The waiting was a torture. Anyway i was given a tag. The nurse questioned me on my medical history. I was then led to the changing room. Had to wear the blue gown and wrapped with kimono. Then i had to wait again.

When it was my turnt, the doctor made me sit onto the bed, in a L shaped position. I could see the my intestine but it was only for awhile. In total there was 4 doctors there. 2 medical stdents were there too. One of the doctor had to sedate me, so he had to poke it thru injection. He could not find my vein on my right hand. My veins are very fine.He thought he found it but it was not the vein. So there is a neddle mark and a bruise on the hand. In the end he found one on my left hand. Both hand are bruise. Then i could feel something. And it was over. It was a fast procedure. I was then transfered to the recover room. I was sleepy.

Then this nurse put me in a sitting position. I felt giddy. I was swaying when i was walking to the sofa. The nurse gave me something to drink. At that poing my stomach was in pain. It was poking sharp pain. Then i waited for my giddiness to subside before changing back to my clothes. I cried cause of the sharp pain. Mama was there but she could not do anything except hold my hand. That was enough. The nurse then told mama that it was internal pulse. I have to see the doctor again next week for review. Syukur alhamdulilah it was not anything serious.

I was hungry man. Since i had to fast yesterday since afternoon. I ate twice with mama. I slept on the bus. My eyes coyld hardly take it. Went to Selegie Road also. Mama went to take loan to pay for Kak Z education.

K me need to get my rest now. Thanks ppl for caring. ;)

CRASH

2005-07-20T18:19:00.000+08:00

TT is the movie that we watched just now. Well atleast it was worth the money and considering i could not watch SIN CITY, well it did kind to me. CRASH, it is a very good movie. At one point i felt like punching the cop's face for humiliating the black lady. He put his hand on her crotch. That is like molestation. The worst thing was that her husband could not do a damn single thing cause he is black. And the mere thought that he actually apologised to the police was damn fu**ing shocking and so surreal. A husband not defending his wife. Well be damn. However, the cop did save the woman;s life when she met with an accident. At that moment, it actually reflect that sometimes human make mistakes too. Matt Dillion is so GORGEOUS and not to mention super duper cutey pie. Ok i noe i'm like nuts. He was my sensation crush back in my teens. So sauve. Haha i don't think Tom and Maya know about this. I actually cried during the movie. Hehe. Well it was quite shcking. I thought that Iraq man really shot that little girl. Tears was already pouring before i know that he shot blanks. So i give this movie 5/5. It's is really about racism.

Maya was yawning after the papers. Lol. Surprised?

Well papers sucks, so there is nothing i can do or want to talk about it. My parents, nenek and kak Nen keep asking me how was the paper. NO COMMENT. On the way to King Albert Park, the three of us sang. New fact, all 3 of us used to be in the choir when we were younger. Haha. So we just sang, and sang. Like nobody business. Even skipping along like little kids. Just to destress ourselves. We even took pictures in the toilet.

Candidates for the next Mrs Bratt. Hehe.

Giler takde keje. ACTION aje.

Guess who i met. FART. Met her at Plaza Sing. I gave her two hugs. One for the death of her father's passing and the other one for comfort. She was buying lunch. I miss her too. After the movie, we walked down to town. I would want to go to Meridian Shopping Centre. There is this stretch of shop which sells cheap bohemian, beads jewellery. I so love it. There was shawl too. i'm not going to bring the past up.

I love the toilet images. SO COOL.

This picture is scary. It was supposed to show me eating popcorn but it turnt out that way instead. Lol.

Hehe. Cheeky me.

The FOXY MAMA. (Happy Belated Birthday Girl)

I'm so scared about tomorrow. I just hope everything is fine. Haiz. How i wish Fiz is talking to me on the phone. Reassuring me and all. He is mugging for his papers.

Joanne's concert

2005-07-07T10:50:00.000+08:00

Last night, fiz and i went to Victoria Concert Hall to watch Joanne perform. It was a very nice place and the event was very a mixture of formalities and informalities. Given the fact that some students were dressed sloppishly. The fact was that the band was incredible. However i was not swayed by all the performance. I loked the phantom of the opera, percussion ensemble, stage band, japanese grafitti iv and the encore where they played abba songs.

We waited for Joanne and the three of us went back together. Yesterday Fiz and i were having a match of criticism. Well i think we both know that some of the things we said to each other hurt the both of us in a way. In fact some of the things he said hurts alot. Haha. Yea that is what you get in a match. Sitting at the pond outside the Victoria Hall would have been romantic if there wasn't alot of people. But it sure was for a moment a romantic scene. A scene and memory that i'll remember in my life. My heart was blooming but it was short lived cause i made a stupid remark that got him all angered and that led to silent situation.

SCHOOL TROUBLE
GOsh i have tried to keep low profile in school now my effort have gone down the drain. I have to see the DEPUTY og my school. THe reason was because i was late for a couple of Mr Teo's lesson. Well that will teach me a lesson. Haiz.

Nenek, you are always in my mind and heart. When i am sad, i am going to close my eyes, cause i can see her smile. That smile that always brighten up my life. ..............
I need a hug. Wish my sister is here.

My GREAT-GRANDMA

2005-07-05T10:13:00.000+08:00

My great-grandma passed away yesterfay at 4.40am. I could not sleep that well that night. It was a bad omen. My omen was true. I woke at lying and looking at my clock it was 4.44am. ANd then there is was the phone call. I knew it then that she was gone. My beloved nenek gemuk has passed away. When my mum came in my room to convey me the news, i told her i know. There was no words to describe the pain in my heart. The thought of not being able to be with her during her last moments really crushed me to pieces. I cried softly on my pillow. We got ready, packed our bag, and we left for Malacca at 7am. We went to take Cik Na and her children before heading to Bukit Indah, JB where uncle awaits for us there.

Before i left, i talked to Hafiz, he told me to be strong but i find it hard to be strong. I was fine for awhile. When we reached Bt Indah, we wasted no time and changed cars. All 3 family boarded the family car. We only stop once, at Tangkak to do our business. When i was in the car, i slept and i cried. The nearer we were to Malacca, the more i cried.

We reached there at 11.45am. My mum was in time for the bathing ceremony. She got to bathe my nenek gemuk along with grandma and her siblings. The house was already packed, Some of the faces i knew, most i do not. However, we were all related by that one person, my nenek gemuk. My nenek busu said that this was only half of them, if the burial were to be at 4pm, more will come and the place would be really really packed. My cousin and i hugged. We sat and awaits for the bathing ceremony to be done.

Then they lay a comfortable and on top of it they lay the white cloth and the cotton. They were going to "KAPAN" wrap her in the white cloth; it was my first time to see such a thing. Never in my life have i seen the KAPAN event. Then i saw her face, i could not stop crying, it was going to be my last time seeing her. Her face was serene and at that point i redha. I could see the peacefulness on her face. We all started to kissed her forehead and cheeks. I had to wipe my tears truly before kissing her. It's not good to let ur tears to drop in front of her. I was the first great grandchild to kiss her. i hugged her too.

I stop crying when we were on the way to the cemetery. Like i said before i redha. After all the suffering she went through. It was time for her to stop suffering.

We walked to the cemetry. WHen we reached there, the grave was very different compared to those in Singapore. Theirs was quite simple and it should be that way according to the religious teaching not like those in Singapore where people put bricks,etc. Well when we reached there, they caretaker have not finish digging up the hole. So we all waited and sat. I sat with Kak Li (she is my aunt but i prefer calling her kak). and we talked. She told she been there since Friday. The last time she talked to nenek gemuk was on that day itself. That was the last time, nenek gemuk spoke before she fell unconsious into a deep sleep. During her last minutes, no one was there with her, i think she did not want us to see her go. My Tok ngah was with her till 4am and had when to rest that's when she left us.

After the funeral, Kak Li and her family brought me out. It was just to get away from the house. It did help abit. We ate and sat beside the beach. In a way, it did wonder. When we got back, Kak Izah, my cousin, Aunty Sidah and i talked and joke around. Well we did not want to dwell on the lost. It would be better just to take it personally. I teased Kak Izah about getting engage and not telling me all about it. Izam her brother was far better, he was going to get married this coming August.

We left the house at 6.30pm. Nenek was going to stay with Nenek Busu and Tok Ngah. I wonder how they are feeling. Afterall the lost that they are going through is more than what i am feeling. They are her children. Then we went to Mak Long's house. Her house is like a fruit shop, where you can pluck rambutans , durians , etc to eat.

Pak Long and my 3 male cousins came later. Izam was still the handsome and tall. He is the one getting tied up in August. Apit is as cute as ever. Given his frame and all, no wonder girls go gaga over him. You know in your life your aunties and cousins will tease you with one of your relatives because the both of you are of the same age. Well this is mine. Apit and i went back along way. Given the fact we were born on the same month and the same year. My cousins used to say that apit and me got kissed before. Yea right. Well we did not talk much. In the years we have grown, we grew distance because we were shy but we do talked sometimes. And his real name is Hafiz, what a coincidence. Izree, the young cute boy has grown up to be tall and sepet. His eyes is so bloody small, i wonder if he has difficulties in finding his way.

Well i'm back now. M i going to be brave and try not to cry so often. As i'm right now. Haiz i must be amongst ppl so i would not think of nenek gemuk so much. I guess the only regret i have is that i did not get to beg for her forgiveness. ...................... I LOVE YOU NENEK GEMUK. You will always be my NENEK GEMUK.. Thanks for taking care of me when i was younger, eventhough i was mean to you.

My Best Friend's Date

2005-07-01T23:10:00.000+08:00

I'm overwhelm with happiness for my best friend, Aini. It is her first date. ANd the lucky guy was Puja. I just talked to her. It was the first time we talked for an hour plus. Never have we talked that long before. I guess you can say we are getting closer. Her excitment was contagious. She called me in the afternoon and later at night. The way she described her date, confirmed that she throughly enjoyed the whole date.

I'm just so happy for her. It kind of made me recalled my first outing with Fiz. Hehe. Yea i know it so girly and mushy but what the heck. Girls sometimes then to hold onto this memories that just put a smile on their face even for a minute or so. It may looked foolish grinning to oneself but the thought of it will leave you happy for the rest of the day. I'm counting the days to that wonderful day last year. Our 1 year anniversary. I'm smiling to myself. I wonder what he is getting for me. Or whether he would like the gift i'm giving him. Hehe So many questions is popping in my head. I wonder where he will take me and so on. Well i guess i just have to wait till next Sunday. Dear CAN YOU HEAR ME!! I JUST CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT SUNDAY!! lol....

Today i was disappointed. I ended up going to Daiso alone. Now when i thought about it, why the hell i wanted Hafiz to accompany me when the main purpose i went to Daiso was to get resupplies of the 'suprise' that i am making for him. Well anyway, Maya had to go home to get her calculator so alone i was. However, the sheer wonder of shopping, heals my disappointment. I did not even care about the time. GIven that i only had an hour to shop. I ended up taking a cab to school. Well what the heck, i was already tired by then.

Hmmm, well mothing much, just wanna say Aini i hope he will ask you out for a second date. Hehe. Secondly, i will pray for your dad and you pray for my great-grandma. Thirdly, you can tell Puja, that i would love to meet him too. Hehe. Love ya girl. So sad, Steve is away and not able to share your joy. LoL. Oki girl rmb Venice and Cali eh. hehe
Tata, gonna continue on Fiz's surprise. ;)

2005-06-30T23:30:00.000+08:00

Hmm i have nothing much to say. Just that my heart is crying that's all. Chatting with Mail now. Well he seemed to be okay.

You thought the world was perfect
You thought the world revolve around you
Then came the news of your love one
Saddle and suffering
Yet you are helpless and hopeless
What do you do?
What do you say?
How do you react?
You thought your world was on the right path
You thought you are on the right path
Yet when one sad news hit you
You so called perfect world started to crumble
Slowly at first then antagonizing later
You wonder what it would be like to be in their shoe
You wish that the person suffering is you instead of them

You would rather by her side then be here
You rather take care of her liked she did to you
Yet you are helpless and hopeless
Were it to be a mere distance you would
Yet she is far and away
If only they let you, you would just to be by her side

Well that's me..............................

Allah s.w.t please give me all the strength i need to go through all this all over again. The third time in my life in a year. Please give me the courage to face all this hardship.

To Kak Anem and family,

I'm sorry for your lost. Abg Razak was a good man as well as a husband and a father. My condolence.

2005-06-24T07:32:00.000+08:00

Hmmm waking up very early in the morning has it upside. I guess you can say that i'm falling in love with the morning air. It is so much cooler and the smell of the air is totally different from the rest of the day. Been waking up early this pass few weeks. Ooh fresh air. If only i am able to see the sunrise. That would be awesome.

Let's take a look at this week. Hmm from Monday onwards,

20/6/05:

Hafiz and i talked things out. Well i am just glad that we had that talk. I talked to Mak Na and abah as well. But i did not get to talk to mami. Anyway that morning i send Sheena off. The flight was delayed so we had to wait. We had breakfast and i was totally taken aback by my dad. It was the first time i heard him converse in english so fluently. The way he form his sentences and his choice of words. Wow i did not know he could speak so well. Usually he is always lecturing me in Malay mix with English but never English alone. I skipped Stra tutorial and Math lect. Fiz told me about Sharon. I'm not jealous this time around but i feel a source of challenge. A challenge for myself to keep up with my image and changing it for him. To remind me that i have to come up with creative yet meaningful ways for the both of us. At least i know that my boyfriend still holds the torch of attractiveness. hehe. Sometime this type of things is healthy in a relationship but it would be a bit too much if it goes beyond the limit.

21/06/05

I'm so thankful and really really really bersyukur that my best friends (Aini and Steve) can get along with Fiz. What amazed me most was Aini who by the way is shy around guys (those bigger than her). She was rather talkative that day. It was a sheer pleasure watching them get along. Anotehr surprise came from him and Steve. They hugged each other. It was as if they (them and Fiz) were already good friends. When they first came, my heart was doing a lot of flip flops. I was scared that the meeting would not go well. Especially from my best friends. Their opinion means alot to me. Thanks guys. I LOVE U GUYS. Then the three of us headed to town. Fiz wentbackto fetch Mak Na. We walked from one end of orchard to the other end. It was fun going shopping with them. Steve and i were more of window shopping. The fun part was making steve wore some girls stuff. Well literally. I just put the hanger onto his head with the blouse still intact onto the hanger. He was giving us opinons on the clothing and the best part was that he did not once complaint. I fall in love with this ring i saw at insetan. It's is simple yet elegant. It was selling 2 for the price of $50. It is just a simple band but it has a diamond stud on it. I just hope i would be able to save and get it. HOwever, in the end we did not bought anything in town except for me that is; i got some craft stuff for "something and someone"'. Well it is meant to be a surprise. BAck to the shopping part. In the end the hometown was where aini finally found what she was looking for. It was hilarious. She was already pouty cause we did not find anything in town. I'm just glad that she finally bought something that she liked.

23/06/05

Nothing much happened. Oh yea i lost my ring. So unlucky. The ring was abit loose and i think it dropped into the toilet bowl cause that was the last time i remembered wearing it. SO careless. Haiz. I stayed back with Maya and Thomas to finish up the EHSC project. Thomas had dance practice so left with the two of us. We were like slogging. In the end we went back to finish up yet time was against us. I chat with Mail for awhile on msn. He told me got appointed assitant KERUSIMAN. Well in translation CHAIRMAN. i was laughing. Then i joke about him ruling the place and all the girls going gaga over him in the long run. But we did not chat much cuz i was busy with the project. Kak Nen is back. I'm just so happy my friend is back. Talked to Kak Z also. She is so so i guess.

24/6/05

First of all i want to say syukur Alhamdulilah. The visual basic test was alright. I managed to do it, test it out and it worked. Only that it worked at the last minute. Well but all end wells. Then Maya and me were busy with the project. We got the report done. Only left with the power point cause Thomas wanted to do the animation. Sorry Thomas, we were like onto you. Haha, no hard feelings. But the presentation went smoothly. I'm glad for that. Oh Yea. I LEFT MY LIBRARY BOOK IN THE TOILET. I', getting more absent-minded. Add another problem to my my worry list. I'm not sure what should i do now. I thinki will go to the library later and cheack whether there is any kind soul who helped me return my book. And i going to check with lost and found counter. I talked to abah. He asked me why i have not been around. Told him i was busy with projects and all. But i promise him to that i'll come on monday. Haha he said he will cook for me. Haha i wonder what he will cook. I just told him not the hot stuff though. Well i am going to end it here cause my hands are in pain after last night. The bruises. I get to rest for one day tomorrow is another day.

FATHER'S DAY

2005-06-20T00:47:00.000+08:00

I just got back from dinner/ supper with the family. All together there was 7 families. We went all the way to Tampines. It is good to see them again. How i miss them. They all went to Malaysia with my parents. I heard they went to alot of places. From Ipoh to , Cheranting, to Kelantan to Melaka, etc. Well that is them.

Went to meet up with Maya in the afternoon. Well the report is almost done. Well almost still short of 500 words. Well what the heck. Anyway, in the morning, i met Sheena. She is leaving tomorrow. The funny part was that, we were on our way to the toilet. Then i think she was stress, haha she almost entered the male toilet. If i did not call out to her she probably would. Lol. Then when she realised, she knocked onto the yellow signboard.Poor girl. BUt it was really hilarious. A sad case so i offered to send her tomorrow. Well gonna skip school but will come back for programming. If i make it in time. I'm not sure whether Afiq is coming tomorrow. Well just sit tight and see. What the heck am i still awake man? Haha it's Afiq fault. Well he asked me to go online before we went home just now. In the end we only ended up going to friendster.

Hmm chat with Mail yesterday. He asked me to be on his crew. SRA street racing crew. I have not given him my answer yet. Well i have not thought about it either. Maybe i should get Afiq to join. They both have something in common. Well see first. Hmm i'm pretty tired already. Travelling and all.

Birthday Truth

2005-06-18T23:41:00.000+08:00

JANUARY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted.
Ambitious and serious.
Loves to teach andbe taught.
Always looking at people's flaws and weaknesses.
Likes to criticize.
Hardworking and productive.
Smart, neat and organized.
Sensitive and has deep thoughts.
Knows how tomakeothers happy.
Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Rather reserved.
Highly attentive.
Resistant to illnesses but prone to colds.
Romantic but has difficulties expressing love.
Loves children.
Loyal.
Has great social abilities yet easily jealous.
Very Stubborn and money cautious.______________________

FEBRUARY:
Abstract thoughts.
Loves reality and abstract.
Intelligent and clever.
Changing personality.
Attractive.
Sexy.
Temperamental.
Quiet, shy and humble.
Honest and loyal.
Determined to reach goals.
Loves freedom.
Rebellious when restricted.
Loves aggressiveness.
Too sensitive and easily hurt.
Gets angry really easily but thoes not show it.
Dislike unnecessary things.
Loves making friends but rarely shows it.
Daring and stubborn.
Ambitious.
Realizing dreams and hopes.
Sharp.
Loves entertainment and leisure.
Romantic on the inside not outside.
Superstitious and ludicrous.
Spendthrift.
Tries to learn to show emotions.______________________________

MARCH:
Attractive personality.
Sexy.
Affectionate.
Shyand reserved.
Sensative.
Naturally honest, generous and sympathetic.
Loves peace and serenity.
Aggressive when provoked.
Sensitive toothers.
Loves to help others.
Not easily angered.
Trustworthy.
Defends others.
Appreciative and returns kindness.
Observant and assesses others.
Varied interests.
Loves to dream and fantasize.
Loves traveling.
Loves attention.
Strong belief system.
Hasty in trusting others.
Loves home decors.
Musically talented.
Depends on friends.
Loves special things.
Moody and easily hurt.
A giving lover.
Very loyal.
Deep Thinker.
Feels deeply.
Aromantic.
Loves to be loved.
Thrifty.
Loves downtime alone.________________________________

APRIL:
Active and dynamic.
Decisive and haste but tends to regret.
Attractive and affectionate to oneself.
Strong mentality.
Loves attention.
Diplomatic.
Consoling, friendly and solves people's problems.
Brave and fearless.
Adventurous.
Loving and caring.
Suave and generous.
Emotional.
Aggressive.
Hasty.
Good memory.
Moving Motivates oneself and others.
Sickness usually of the head and chest.
Sexy in a way that only their luver can see.__________________________

MAY:
Stubborn and hard-hearted.
Strong-willed and highly motivated.
Sharp thoughts.
Easily angered.
Attracts others and loves attention.
Deep feelings.
Beautiful physically and mentally.
Firm Standpoint.
Needs no motivation.
Easily consoled.
Systematic (leftbrain).
Loves to dream.
Strong clairvoyance.
Understanding.
Sickness usually in the ear and neck.
Good imagination.
Good physical.
Weakbreathing.
Loves literature and the arts. L
oves traveling.
Dislike being at home.
Restless.
Not having many children.
Hardworking.
High spirited.
Spendthrift._________________________________

JUNE:
Thinks far with vision.
Easily influenced by kindness.
Polite andsoft-spoken.
Having lots of ideas.
Sensitive.
Active mind.
Hesitating, tends to delay.
Choosy and always wants the best.
Temperamental.
Funnyand humorous.
Loves to joke.
Good debating skills.
Talkative.
Daydreamer.
Friendly.
Knows how to make friends.
Abiding.
Able to show character.
Easily hurt.
Prone to getting colds.
Loves to dress up.
Easily bored.
Fussy.
Seldom shows emotions.
Takes time to recover when hurt.
Brand conscious.
Executive.
Stubborn._________________________________

JULY:
Fun to be with.
Secretive.
Difficult to fathom and to be understood.
Quiet unless excited or tensed.
Takes pride in oneself.
Has reputation.
Easily consoled.
Honest.
Concerned about people's feelings.
Tactful.
Friendly.
Approachable.
Emotional temperamental and unpredictable.
Moody and easily hurt.
Witty and sparkly.
Not revengeful.
Forgiving but never forgets.
Dislikes nonsensical and unnecessary things.
Guides others physically and mentally.
Sensitive and forms impressions carefully.
Caring and loving.
Treats others equally.
Strong sense of sympathy.
Wary and sharp.
Judges people through observations.
Hardworking.
No difficulties in studying.
Loves to be alone.
Always broods about the past and the old friends.
Likes to be quiet.
Homely person.
Waits for friends.
Never looks for friends.
Not aggressive unless provoked.
Prone to having stomach and dieting ! problems.
Loves to be loved.
Easily hurt but takes long to recover.______________

AUGUST:
Loves to joke.
Attractive.
Suave and caring.
Brave and fearless.
Firm and has leadership qualities.
Knows how to console others.
Too generous and egoistic.
Takes high pride of oneself.
Thirsty for praises.
Extraordinary spirit.
Easily angered.
Angry when provoked.
Easily jealous.
Observant.
Careful and cautious.
Thinks quickly.
Independent thoughts.
Loves to lead and to be led.
Loves to dream.
Talented in the arts, music and defense.
Sensitive but not petty.
Poor resistance against illnesses.
Learns to relax.
Hasty and trusty.
Romantic.
Loving and caring.
Loves to make friends ._________________________________

SEPTEMBER
Suave and compromising.
Careful, cautious and organized.
Likes to point out people's mistakes.
Likes to criticize.
Stubborn.
Quiet but able to talk well.
Calm and cool.
Kind and sympathetic.
Concerned and detailed.
Loyal but not always honest.
Does workwell.
Very confident.
Sensitive.
Thinking generous.
Good memory.
Clever and knowledgeable.
Loves to look for information.
Must control oneself when criticizing.
Able to motivate oneself.
Understanding.
Fun to be around.
Secretive.
Loves sports, leisure and traveling.
Hardly shows emotions.
Tends to bottle up feelings.
Very choosy, especially in relationships.
Systematic._________________________________

OCTOBER:
Loves to chat.
Loves those who loves them.
Loves to takes things at the center.
Inner and physical beauty.
Lies but doesn't pretend.
Gets angry often.
Treats friends importantly.
Always making friends.
Easily hurt but recovers easily.
Daydreamer.
Opinionated.
Does not care of what others think.
Emotional.
Decisive.
Strong clairvoyance.
Loves to travel, the arts and literature.
Touchy and easily jealous.
Concerned.
Loves outdoors.
Just and fair.
Spendthrift.
Easily influenced.
Easily loses confidence.
Loves children._________________________________

NOVEMBER:
Has a lot of ideas.
Difficult to fathom.
Thinks forward.
Unique and brilliant.
Extraordinary ideas.
Sharp thinking.
Fine and strong clairvoyance.
Can become good doctors.
Dynamic in personality.
Secretive.
Inquisitive.
Knows how to dig secrets.
Always thinking.
Less talkative but amiable.
Brave and generous.
Patient.
Stubborn and hard-hearted.
If there is a will, there is a way.
Determined.
Never give up.
Hardly becomes angry unless provoked.
Loves to be alone.
Thinks differently from others.
Sharp-minded.
Motivates oneself.
Does not appreciates praises.
High-spirited.
Well-built and tough.
Deep love and emotions.
Romantic.
Uncertain in relationships.
Homely.
Hardworking.
High abilities.
Trustworthy.
Honest and keeps secrets.
Not able to control emotions.
Unpredictable_________________________________

DECEMBER:
Loyal and generous.
Sexy.
Patriotic.
Active in games and interactions.
Impatient and hasty.
Ambitious.
Influential in organizations.
Fun to be with.
Loves to socialize.
Loves praises.
Loves attention.
Loves to be loved.
Honest and trustworthy.
Not pretending.
Short tempered.
Changing personality.
Not egoistic.
Take high pride in oneself.
Hates restrictions.
Loves to joke.
Good sense of humor.
Logical

Well guys tt is it. I find my is true. August. So for those who wants to know. I'm like tt most of the time. I hope this is useful.

HMMM!! STUPID PHONE!!

2005-06-18T21:07:00.000+08:00

Damn stupid phone. It did not even feel liked 40 mins. I just put down the phone. Was talking to JENDOL. I am just annoyed that the line when dead in the middle of our conversation. My fault too, the card credit was low. So anyway, as usual we were giving each other insults. The best part was that we were both lonely and hungry. The telepathy of sisters no matter where they are. Haha. She is all alone there cuz her school is having holiz there and i'm home alone. I am so gonna get you back with that last remark you made. But it is hilarious. 3 more months. See i'm counting the number of days you will be spending miserably there. See when you got me you took me for granted now PADAN MUKA!!! lol.

Anyway Kak Lina and Abg Fitri came from KL. Their baby Faiz (6 mths) is so cute, so charming. When they reached Mak Long's house, he was asleep. When he opened his eyes, it was as if he was in heaven. Haha he was surrounded by beautiful ladies. All the dayang. He then sit down and crawl towards us and smile at us. Not only that he stick out his tounge and was playing with it. Haha must be his father's genes. LOl. Kak Lina and Abg Fitri relationship is an open affection. Calling each other sayang, darling and so on. I just smiled.

We went to simpang Bedok. Met my uncle Lan and auntie Sidah there. Coincidence. Kak Lina introduced us to her freind. Kak Anis and Abg Azmi. They both are a loving couple too. I laughed alot last night. After that we went to Changi. As usual my family and our obession for teh tarik.
Despite my tummyache since morning i had fun.

Well today is another story. My toilet trips stop but the funny feeling was still there. Anyway to relieve my disappointment and my pain, i went SHOPPING. It is the best thing to do. But on the downside i'm broke. I bought 1 black long skirt, 1 jeans and 2 pants. I wanted to go to the doc but by the time i get there it will be closed given the distance from Tampines to CCK. Then i went home. All alone again. Drank that tea. Now i'm feeling better. I guess. My sis made my day. Btw way Jen i'm still GERAM with you. Dah dah dah nanti aku mati heart attack kat rumah bukan ade org. Suka la tu, kan cuz u will have all my stuff. IDIOT. lol.

Oh yea thanks Mamat and Kak Noi for the necklace and earings. I simply love it. Love you guys. So surprise by the gift. LOVE YOU PPL. MUACKS MUACKS!!

Lonely Night

2005-06-17T00:50:00.000+08:00

I'm all alone right now. I feel so miserable and alone. I wished my family are here. I miss them so terribly. My famliy are away on holidays. Most of all i miss my nenek. Wish there is someone to just talk to especially in times like this. Haha crazy, i'm suddenly crying. GOSH i really must be missing them. At least i would not be alone. I really hope that they will come back sooner. So i would not be all alone staying here.

I had dinner with Aini. Nobody was at home, there was no dinner. Luckly she was free. Steve was not around. It was nice to have someone to keep you accompany. Even for awhile there is a difference. Thanks girl. You made me laughed. When we were eating, she made a remarked on an ex-Kranjian, i almost choked. Haha. Met Mr Wee. He still remembered us. Aini was kicking my leg caused it was really awkward to talk to your ex-teacher.

Now i'm all alone again.................................................................................................................................
I wish my family is back, esp Kak Z

2005-06-11T13:26:00.000+08:00

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing,She is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions,She is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds,She is not at all fine. When a GIRL stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL lays on your chest, She is wishing for you to be hers forever. When a GIRL wants to see you everyday, She wants to be pampered. When a GIRL says I love you, She means it. When a GIRL says "i miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than that.

Got it from the internet. Guys out there this is so true.

Sum it all Up!!

2005-06-06T20:36:00.001+08:00

Well okie this week was a roller coster ride for me. Alot of fast forward.

3/6/05

Farhanah's mum passed away. Hafiz, his family and i went to visit her. To give her emotional support. I do not know how it feels like to be in her shoe right now. I do not even think words can describe the feelings that she is going through. May Allah show her the light and may Allah bless her with many good blessings in her life.

Then i went out with his family. We went to town and to esplanade. It was a cozy and warm outing for me. I got to know his parents better. It was also an enjoyable time. The breeze of the sea at night just tingle me with excitment as well as his warm touch to make the whole situation mellow.

4/6/05
I broke down when Kak Z called. I did not know it was that bad. I pleaded her to come home but i know that would not happen. She is my number one best freind. Haiz. If you are reading this, i'm feeling alright already. Don't think too much about me. You should be concentrating on your studies and bring back more distinction. You make me so proud for you that my heart swell. Haha but on the downside, i still hate you. Hehe cause daddy and mummy keep comparing us. Haha. No pun taken eh.

Then at night, i went to JB with the whole family. Kak Li and her family came down from Kulim (somewhere btw Perak and Penang). Hehe i missed her so much. Her laughter brought joy during that sad period i was facing. Before we went back, i gave a very long tight hug. I wonder when will i be able to see her again. Years to come or months to come. I hope it is soon.

5/6/05
Kak Nen went home today for 2weeks. So i have to do most of the household jobs. I do not mind as long as my sister helps. While we were on our way to the airport, the tyre went flat. Apparently a steel had went into it. The hole was quite big. So we were stuck in the middle of a highway and the best part was that we got spare tyre but we did not have the spanner. So we had to wait for an hour before Abg Taha came to the resue. Kak Nen was a little bit stress. Given that she was suppoes to check in and time was running out. It was a miracle that we managed to get there on time.

Then we went to Costa Sand Resort ECP. It was Nabil's birthday. Most of the family were there. I met Hafiz there too caused he and his family were there too. Cycling. We did not talk much. Just to say hi. I had a good talked with Kak Noi. We just sat at the beach for quite sometime. Then i saw Hafiz, shouted to him but he did not hear us. I wanted to introduce him to Kak Noi. Well another time perhaps. Then my family had supper at Mr Teh Tarik.

6/6/05
It's Auntie Susie's birthday. I gave her an early sms. She is the same age as my mum. Today's lesson was pretty alright. After school, Maya, Thomas, Ros, Sri and i did our practical assignment. I'll remember this phrase; "Shake like you never shake before and Blow like you never blow before" Hehe. They were doing the experiment the other time and Maya,Ros and Thomas were either shaking or blowing the bottle so i came up with the line. Haha. I'm not otak kuning eh. Do not think of the dirty stuff. LOL!! We took some pictures too. Courtesy of Ros and Sri. They were taking the pictures without us realising it.

The French notes is still not available. The book is still on loan. The book itself cost $50 ++. The auntie at the bookshop sucks. Doesn't she knows that customer is always right?

When i got home, Zaki and Yayah is here. Hehe my cute little munchies. Did some ironing and now i will probably try to do some catching up perhaps.

Dear if you are reading this, i miss you. Hope to hear from you soon. [Hint: Telephone! LOL]

2005-06-06T20:36:00.000+08:00

Hehe our deep thoughts. Haha.

2005-06-06T20:35:00.000+08:00

Mia n Thomas------> Y r they so stress always??

2005-06-06T20:34:00.000+08:00

Peek a Boo Ros. Hehe my turn to turn the camera on you. lol

2005-06-06T20:33:00.000+08:00

My nicest pose. Hehe Pretty or Not??lol

2005-06-06T20:32:00.000+08:00

Hehe sulky face. Wondering what i was thinking about

2005-06-06T20:31:00.000+08:00

ROs n Sri take pics of me w/o realising

2005-06-06T20:30:00.000+08:00

Boring already (today)

2005-06-06T20:28:00.001+08:00

Side View of my dad. Handsome jugak eh Bapak ku...........

2005-06-06T20:28:00.000+08:00

Kak Nen stress. Vehicle broke down. Tick-tock tick-tock

2005-06-06T20:26:00.000+08:00

Mak Na n Me. Hehe Miss Cuties

2005-06-06T20:25:00.000+08:00

My Sayang n Me @ Esplanade

2005-06-06T20:24:00.000+08:00

Haikal - He is so cute....

2005-05-31T21:30:00.000+08:00

The Kids, playing at the playground...Reminds me of my old playground days......hehe

2005-05-31T21:29:00.000+08:00

Mak Na n Me.... Mak Na cute hehe. Love ya

2005-05-31T21:28:00.000+08:00

3 pretty girls... Hehe all so manis ;p

2005-05-31T21:25:00.000+08:00

Mel ( Kak Rina's German friend) n Me.........

2005-05-31T21:24:00.000+08:00

Mak Na n Me.... She was exhausted after the whole event

2005-05-31T21:22:00.000+08:00

Ms Pretty, She is so pretty. I just love her

2005-05-31T21:21:00.000+08:00

Aniff ( super hyperactive) Haha but still very cute

2005-05-31T21:19:00.000+08:00

Nabilla n Aniff - - -} Hafiz's cousins. So cute

2005-05-31T21:17:00.000+08:00

Best Frens, Joanne n Hafiz.............

2005-05-31T21:15:00.000+08:00

Joanne during the NIkaH

2005-05-31T21:14:00.000+08:00

Happy Lunching. My Babe n Me. Ari n Mia...

2005-05-31T21:06:00.000+08:00

My darling? WHy so stress, Only first wk of Sch???

2005-05-31T21:05:00.000+08:00

Hehe malu ar tu... Lol

2005-05-31T21:04:00.000+08:00

Hehe, At this pt he was irritated by me.LoL. Haha

2005-05-31T21:03:00.000+08:00

Han, Y so serious?? Haha i took this while he was n't noticing.Lol. Got U ;p

2005-05-31T21:01:00.000+08:00

Chicken Delight; Wow Maya lokeknya. Makan solo.........

2005-05-31T20:59:00.000+08:00

Mak Na, Hafiz aunt. Kesian Mak Na dah penat after cycling at the beach

2005-05-31T20:57:00.000+08:00

Maman, so cute. Looks more like Uncle Richard

2005-05-31T20:56:00.000+08:00

Mami n Maman

2005-05-31T20:54:00.000+08:00

This my second Mami. Took care of me for 8yrs. Auntie Susie

2005-05-31T20:53:00.000+08:00

The day before my Sayang left

Pictures

2005-05-31T20:50:00.000+08:00

Okay ppl. Finally i uploaded the lastest pics from my hp. So enjoy viewing thru guys.
French Class is a total blast. I'm at my highest of my my high. If you know what i mean. Good news is always lurking around to suprise you. Hehe.

The NIKAH

2005-05-29T08:44:00.000+08:00

The day started off with me getting to know his external family. It was a huge lot. All his aunties, uncles and cousins. I was super duper shy. I came early that day at 8 plus. The day before i got back at 1am from his house. Help his sister with the inai(is that how you spell it?) ; it is the nail thingy where you make it red. Anyway it was really alot of work to be done.

Hafiz just got up also at that time. They have not slept since the day before. All of them very tired. I was shy. I salam them, luckily Mak Na was there. She made me feel at ease. Thank you so much mak na. You are so cute. Then Kak Rina, Tasha and i went to Vista Point to get some stuff. At this point, I had a good chat with his sister. I just got to know her. She is a very straight forward, brave and pretty. She is so beautiful.

Then everybody was getting ready for the nikah event. The groom then came, then the tok kadi. And then after the vow was done, they were married. It was an emotional event. I am syukur that Kak Rina is safely married and it was the proper wedding.

The one thing that i was malu about was the teasing from his uncles. They kept asking me when. So malu. When is it my turn with Hafiz. Hehe. But one thing for sure, if jodoh kita panjang, then i would love to get married to him. Even if i have to wait for 5 years, i would. Well that is way far ahead. Lol. Think too much already.

My WeAK PoinT

2005-05-25T22:34:00.000+08:00

You Guys found Out mY weak Point. Lol. Haha So stop tickling me eh. Later i would die of laughter and ticklish.

School was okay today. Day 2 of school. I went back alone today. The bus wasn't pack so i got to seat. Man the journey was a whole freaking hour. I was dozing in the bus. Luckily i got my mp3 as a companion. Seriously i must hunt for someone who live in cck too. Going to school back and fore alone is damn Boring. Well if Hafiz schedule was the same as mine, it is ok cause i would have him to talk too. Haha. Still some days i would go back by myself. Hmm i wonder what happened to cck. Isn't there anybody tt lived at cck tt goes to the same school as us.

Minah metal was in my class today. Was quite suprised to see her today. She smiled to me in the morning then the next thing i know was that she is in my class. Mr Teo was alrite. He is just strict about punctuality but other than that he is ok. haha not only students suffer from attitude problem teachers too.

Well mama and daddy said Insyallah they will go to the wedding. I told daddy the truth. Actually i said friend but i do not know why suddenly i said my boyfriend. Maybe i guess i do not want to hide in my turtle shell anymore.

Vick sent me a joke. It was funny about kids on pregnancy. Haha i wanted to share with you guys but i accidentaly deleted it. Another day perhaps.

FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL

2005-05-24T21:22:00.000+08:00

Well it is the first day of school. YIPEE. I just love it. Well i had FRENCH class today. Angelo is damn funny, he proclaim himself as cool and easygoing. Well actually it is the truth. French Alphabet are easy but the when it comes to numbers, it is so tough. Lol. We were practically helping each other out. Maya was in my class. Siti also. Made new friends, Nurul, Fique, Remimi. Well my French nema is Julie. He is still not adapt to Malay n Chinese names so he gave us a list of French names for us to choose from. It was weird having call myself Juli. In short French class was a super duper blast.

I am actually very tired. But i just can't seem to fall asleep. You know that sort of tiredness that just dwell onto you and you just feel like shaking it off your shoulder. Well that is how i feel. The weather is cold today. It was freezing for me. Considering i cough easily when i'm freezing.

After French class, i met Hafiz. I even went to his lecture. I was supposed to go to his house first but then he wanted me to go home with him. So i chose the latter. The lecture was ok. I sat thru there from 1 to 4pm. I wonder what, how he feels about me staying by his side. At his house, Mak Na was there so was Kak Noreen. I was tired so i slept but it was only for awhile caused abang Man got back.

He called me just now, but it was only for awhile. I wish we could talk longer. Sometimes i wish i was his friend than girlfriend. Caused that way he would talk to me longer on the phone. But then again, i would not want him to neglect me. Haha funny, you can say i want the best of both world. Both as a friend and a boyfriend. Haha i myself do not understand what i really want. Well for me now i think the best thing to do is to go with the flow. Everyday is a new day. Start each new day as if it is your last. Cause you never know when you will be gone. Even if the world start to crumble onto you, just be positive. Cause when you fall into the deep pool, it is hard to surface to the top. So my hope and dreams is not up there where i used to put them.

I told my mum that mami invited her and daddy to Kak Rina's wedding. At least i delivered that message to them. I guess you can say honesty is the best policy but of course you can tell some fibs. Lol.

Touched by YOU guys....

2005-05-23T00:03:00.000+08:00

Hey peeps, i would like to thank you guys sincerely from the bottom of my heart.
THOMAS, i'm so touched by you. I was quite taken aback by that pic you upload on your blog. That is really sweet of you. Must have taken you alot of trouble. Hehe. It's the photo he took with me at the Mac Ritchie walk. Hehe. You are really super duper sweet. Always coming up with such surprises. LOL!
Maya n Ros you guys are like a pillar building up to support me in every steps i make. Thanks girls. I'm chatting with Puja now. He is back in Indonesia. Okie maybe i was a little abit judgemental against him. Well maybe i should just get to know him really well before making an assumption or anything. He told me he broke it off with Fareeza. One thing i know about this is that Aini hate this girl alot. Aini, i pray that you will get a job really soon and that your family would be fine AMIN. May Allah brigthen the light in your family. You can always count on my support girl. I'm just a few blocks across so if your in need of anything just shout across and i'll be there in a jiffy. ;P
Vick thinks i'm mad with him. He actually waited for 3 hours for me. He thought i was mad at him for something he said to me the other day. THe problem was that i was not even online. Maybe cause of the connection problems i was having the other day. At least there are still people who wants to talk to me. No offense or anything. I think that starting of school is one that i'm anticipating this time around. At least it will kill the boredom that has started to grow onto me.

I wish i was somewhere exotic right now. Like V told me of the beautiful places he has visited before. I just cannot wait to end school and start to travel. You do not need stamina to travel around the world as long as your heart is set to go you will be there when the time comes. It would be nice to see something out of the norm. See the colours of rainbow in every country, the sunrise and sunset, and most of all is to feel that sense of breathlessness when you close your eyes to breathe in the air. I'm closing my eyes now. Kinda bring you the subtle feelings and the feeling of relaxation.

The wonder of kids. been sending around them for the last 3 days. And i can tell you that they are one of the most wonderful creations of God. They seem to know when to uplift your moods in every possible situation. The best thing i like about kids is their frankness and their i'm not guilty- don't punish me look. It is fun as well as exhausting. The other day, my dad brought us to the West Coast Park. Its a big park and it has a Mac Donald over there. The park is so huge and the best part is the swing. It is kind of the Tarzan swing whereby you pushed someone from one end to the other end of the bar. I had to push Yayah all the way back and fore. It was tiring but i had a blast. The place will always bring the sweet memories. .....

Oh yea Kak Z got 5 distinction. I so bloody proud of her. We are always critising each other but i know as well as she that we love each other. I cannot wait for her to get back. Afterall she is my ultimate best friend of 18 years since i was born. The person who bullies me, who put me through hell for her sheer pleasure, who knows me the best. Well that is what sisters are for. It is kind of quiet at home without her. Nobody i could really share my joy, my pain, my excitement, my pleasure, my itch to catfight with. How i wish time would passed by so fast that it is time for her to get back. I think i know why i'm always feeling down this few months. No longer the happy go lucky girl, the spirited one, the adventurous one......... My other half is missing. SHe has taken it there with her.

My New Found Friend

2005-05-20T00:24:00.000+08:00

Vick or Vicky that is his name. CLEO is rite. You need to find new friends. Well i found mine. He is so bloody funny. Hilarious you can say. He is 30 but age is only a matter of number. Crazy. Asked me whether i can dance or sing. I told him 2 left feet and a frog. Lol. Well that is funny.

Like a magnet of diff poles atrracts. Lol. Anyway i'm sure Vick and i will go a long way.

Well dear thanks for spending time with me today. Mak Na also. I enjoyed her company. I love you. Hehe I'm waiting for my surprise eh. If not i'm not going to talk to you ;P

2005-05-12T15:17:00.000+08:00

Dear i miss you so much. Wish you were back. Today mark 1 week of your absence. Woh i cannot believe it already 1 week. That is gosh 1 week. Yea i mean it was hard. Still got 1 more week to go. Haiz and the one thing i hate is how time seem to pass so slowly. That is the worst thing.

Supposed to be lazing around at the beach today but weather did not permit it. Well what the heck. I still need my needed rest. Yes i am sick again.

I got to know Vick thru friendster. He said something nice about me. He said that
"well...just wanna say...u have great smile ..same like rose buds". Isn't that the sweetest thing. Well it is to me. I do not get complement that much anyway so i guess the attention is such sheer wonder.

2005-05-06T13:10:00.000+08:00

So HE IS GONE.................

Yea he left already this morning. 11am bus to Kuantan. I'm sure going to miss him.

After tuition yesterday, i went to fetch mami from work. Mami was still sick. Kesian mami. Anyway abah picked us up from the mrt and off we went to his house. His parent wants me to called them mami and abah. Well it is easier to call them that. I helped to pack his stuff but wasted my effort cause he repacked everything back that night. I just chilled in his room and chatted with mami. We were mostly talking about Kak Rina and her wedding and him. Finally mami is smilling after all the heart pain she had to went through. I 'm happy for her and his family. Eventhough everything is not really back to normal but at least something good did happen to his family. Later we just sat at the park and talked. It was kinda a good bye moment i shared with him. I told him that i used to that when i was away on the amazing trip, i longed for his phone call or a moment to spend time with him but that did not happen. I'm sure some of you knew why. Well that is the past. I do not want to hold on to something that i know will bring only heartache for all. The funny part was when we were sitting down, a dog started to chase us. It was really funny and scary. Idotic dog, and what more is my fear of dog. I told him the story of why i fear dogs, not the small ones but those huge dogs.

Well i'll only get to see him in 2 weeks time. That is how long he will be going. I just pray that no harm will come to him when he is there. Semoga sayang pergi dan kembali dengan selamat. Do not worry i will take care of mami and abah for you.

To Farhanah:
I do not know whether you read my blog but if you are i just want to say;
Let's forget what happened in the past. Right now you need to bersabar and banyak berdoa for your mum. I know how you are feeling right now. I used to be in the same position as you. My mum had cancer once but Alhamdulilah she is fine now. I know that we have a strange friendship but i just want you to know that i will doa for you and your mum. From the bottom of my heart, i sincerely hope your mum will be fine. All this is dugaan from Allah s.w.t. Do not stress yourself girl, you still have your A level to concentrate on. I'm know that your mum would want you to do your best and make her proud girl. May Allah s.w.t bless you and your family and to kuatkan semangatmu.

2005-05-05T12:20:00.000+08:00

JB Trip

I went to JB yesterday with Fiz. Haha we were both kinda jakun. It's like it is the first time for him and it was a first for me to go to JB other than family. However we did manage. lol. I met Aini while on the way to the MRT stn. Hehe she was in her jogging outfit. So cute. It felt nice to just chit chat with my best friend. After that i was on my way to meet him.

We took the bus to Larkin. He wanted to buy bus ticket to Kuantan. Yes, he is leaving again. Oh my the agony of him leaving again. Haha probably it is good. He will be gone for 2 weeks. Anyway when we were in Larkin, we got his ticket and we went to survey the ribbons etc, boxes for barang hantaran, etc. Well it is quite cheap. Very reasonable. WE did not stay long there cause i had to teach Izwan. After that we went to Causeway Point just to kill time before i head to Yishun.

IN the evening, I had a great time teaching Liana and Nizam. The Badak Family. That is what they called themselves. Liana was laughing so much that she farted. I could not stop laughing. Well you guys complete my day. Thanks yea.

Dear, i'm going to miss you. Btw dear happy 10th month anniversary. Love you to pieces and crumbs. Lol.

2005-05-04T10:32:00.000+08:00

ENROLLMENT SUCKY!!

Well it is true. I did not get anything that i want. I got French and Introduction to Financial Planning. Well that is probably my fault.

ANyway last night, i chat with Keem. It was nice speaking to him. He went back to school. I'm happy for him. Haha i used to weigh him down cause of school. Well we talked about the sweet memories we shared before. I admitted to him that i avoided him all this years. He could not stop laughing. His sister is doing fine too. Well that is all in the past. His been going out with his current girlfriend for 2 yrs plus already. Well it was just nice to speak to him again. Cheers.

2005-05-03T23:25:00.000+08:00

Both of us. Enjoying our dinner

2005-05-03T23:24:00.000+08:00

2005-05-03T23:23:00.001+08:00

the 3 of us.

2005-05-03T23:23:00.000+08:00

Watcha looking at?

2005-05-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

By the lamp post

2005-05-03T23:18:00.000+08:00

Suprise!

2005-05-03T23:17:00.001+08:00

2005-05-03T23:17:00.000+08:00

2005-05-03T23:10:00.000+08:00

Jo N Mi

2005-05-03T23:09:00.000+08:00

Fiz n Jo

2005-05-03T23:07:00.000+08:00

Look at the sky. It is so beautiful.

2005-05-03T23:06:00.000+08:00

What were we thinking Man?

2005-05-03T23:05:00.000+08:00

agter our bath; going home

2005-05-03T23:04:00.000+08:00

Smile

2005-05-03T23:03:00.001+08:00

Me N Him

2005-05-03T23:03:00.000+08:00

While Playing SNAP

2005-05-03T23:01:00.000+08:00

Jo making sandwich for us.

2005-05-03T23:00:00.000+08:00

Our Resting Spot

2005-05-03T22:58:00.000+08:00

i Wonder who is the Cinderella

2005-05-03T22:57:00.000+08:00

2005-05-03T22:56:00.000+08:00

MI & JO

2005-05-03T22:53:00.000+08:00

Fiz N his Best Friend Joanne

2005-05-03T22:49:00.000+08:00

The Sunglasses Couple. My Sayang n Me

2005-05-03T22:45:00.001+08:00

2005-05-03T22:45:00.000+08:00

Ar Now So SweeT

2005-05-03T22:44:00.000+08:00

Joanne Why so Fierce?

2005-05-03T00:55:00.000+08:00

BEACH DAY!!

What a wonderful world. Joanne's birthday is today but we decided to celebrate it one day in advance so it would not clash with her school day tomorrow. I went to his house first. Kak Noreen was there too. I love playing with Putri. She is so adorable. So cuit muit. Just like me. Hehe. Then i helped him packed the items for the day. Helped in the kitchen too but he did the cooking. I just helped abit in the kitchen. Iron his shirt, packed and then we played with Putri. Hehe i did my part eh dear. After solat zuhur, we finished packing and off we were to Ang Mo Kio to meet Joanne. Well we were slightly late. Anyway then we took the bus to Marine Parade.

The journey wasn't that long. Maybe it was because of the excitment as well as the smooth conversation we were all engaging in that time wasn't a factor. Then the three of us went to the beach. Man the beach was crowded with people of all races. It seem squeesy to me. I hate crowds. Luckily i'm not suffering from hyperventilation or anything. I mean i could just drop dead there. LOl. We were all so hungry. Did not eat a thing since breakfast. Haha if we were to combine our stomach i'm sure you will be able to hear the sound of music. lol.

Later then i changed my clothes. I and Fiz when to swim. It was a little bit of swimming and a whole lot of drowning. Idiot guy, try to drown me. Haha it was funny thou. Seriously i had fun. Thinking of it makes me laugh now. Joanne did not want to join us but she was tanning herself. Dear we sld go again. Seriously it was fun playing in the waters but no drowning ar. Lol. Then we played SNAP. IT was funny. I know you cheated. Haha don't deny ar. He won 5 games and Joanne and i only won 1 game each. But it was seriously funny. We hit the water again and this time, Joanne was included. So the three of us were splashing waters at each other. It was already dark but we only got out of the water at 7.30pm. Freeaing cold yet there were still a crowd there.

After we changed, we took lots of picutes. Lol. Then off we went back, eating our sardine bread. What a nice day. A day to remember. Cheers. Haha Joanne love her present.!!

Hey dear, I was just kidding when i called you a liar. DO NOT TAKE IT TOO HARD!! eh lol. Really i was only joking. No hard feelings eh. Some other days you can send me home. Dear
GOSH only 3 more days before you'll leave me. HAtE u!! ;p haha. Only you know what is in my heart. Like you always say I noe U, SIti Nor Arifah. YEa only u noes, what is in my heart. Haha but sometimes u are also blur about what is going in my heart. Maybe when you are gone, the time absence will make us grow closer. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. I would have known you for about 10 months by this 5 May. Haha our 10 mths dear. I guess you can say that all i'm asking for right now is blind trust, your honesty and your love. You sld know by now that i do not ask much of you. Only your love, time, honesty, trust and your companion. Well that is it dear. Love you.

2005-05-03T00:44:00.000+08:00

My Sayang N Me at the Airport.

2005-05-03T00:42:00.000+08:00

Feeling Sad; He is leaving me On a Jet Plane

2005-05-03T00:41:00.000+08:00

Another Pic of Me But In BW

2005-05-03T00:39:00.000+08:00

Me At the Airport

2005-05-03T00:38:00.000+08:00

Our last Pic.

2005-05-03T00:36:00.000+08:00

Mira n Kak Noi in the Car

2005-05-03T00:35:00.000+08:00

Pink Ladies

2005-05-03T00:32:00.000+08:00

Garpu Garpu Abg Im